YellowSubmarine

...to provide for the common defense...

Being a family means looking out for one another.

I'm sitting here waging an unsuccessful war with my insomnia and contemplating the break up of my nuclear family next week, I can't help but remember a pact my brother and I made a pact that we would protect our sisters and each other as best we could from physical harm. No outsider would ever harm anyone carrying the family name. It was an adolescent version of 'Civis Romanus', and we only had to use it once.

Several years ago, my little sister was being accosted by the neighborhood bully, a black belt in karate named Mike. Mike was a full two inches taller than my brother was and had more muscle besides. But my brother, and god bless him, just marched straight up to Mike and layed what I'm sure was a beautiful left hook across his chin. Mike's brothers, Lee and Cody joined in and at that point it wasn't a fight anymore, it was an old fashioned ass-whoopin'. My little sister broke free of the melee and ran up the street to get me and tell my big sister what was going on.

She reached me first and by the time I got there, Mike and Cody had him pinned on the ground and Lee was taking pot shots. I didn't think that was very sporting and I registered my displeasure with him by giving Lee an alzheimer's hit (That's what my brother and I call it. It means I hit him so hard he forgot where he was) and then going after Mike. I knew that Mike would rely on his karate, but I also knew he needed some distance to be effective. The first rule of street fighting is never fight on the other guy's terms. When he came at me, I caught his leg and pushed into him, taking him off his balance and knocking him on his back. From that point on he was kicking, punching, gouging, biting, throwing elbows and knees, just whatever. Deprived of his secret weapon, he couldn't take me and he knew it. I got the upper hand and kept laying into him until he submit.

While all this was going on My Brother had gotten right back up and took after Cody, the last of the evil trifecta. He was having an easy enough time with him, but while I was on the ground grappling with Mike, my brother noticed Lee grabbing a baseball bat. He forgot Cody, broadsided Lee, threw the bat in the street and they got to fighting. Instead of continuing the brawl, Cody decided to run into the house to get his parents.

By then my sisters had come and my big sister took to breaking up the fight. My big sister was always the peace-maker. She believed in justice, not jujitsu. She had almost pried My Brother off of Lee when the Bully's mom came out. I was still on Mike. My Brother was still on Lee. That's all she needed to see to know that we were brutally attacking her babies. She pulled me off of her son.

She excoriated us. My Big Sister had tried to come to an understanding of the situation and reason with Mike's mom. She tried. And she tried. And she tried. She tried all the way until Mike's Mom went too far.

"What kind of sick parenting raises kids like that?!? You're parents should be ashamed of themselves!"

Then it was on.

My Big sister had a few keenly worded responses for her invloving the words 'succubus', 'spoiled rotten', and 'Witch'...with a 'B'.

So Mike and his mom marched up to see my Father.

Mike had obviously sustained damage and his mom related to my father about how Cody had ran inside to tell her what was happening only to find My Brother and Me all over her sons. She made referrence to my history of violence as proof. (You know what, I can't lie, I had a lot of anger issues.) Of course she demanded the strictest punishment.

My dad was irrate. FURIOUS! Not only had I been in another fight and apparently really tore into this kid, but because of my bad influence, My usually mild-mannered Brother had too! I don't supposed it helped that I was smiling the whole time she was describing the efforts of My Brother and me.

Fortunately for me, My Sisters came in to add their side of the story, informing the parentals about the initial physicality, My Brother's reaction and subsequent traction, and my involvement before my sister's intervention.

When my brother heard the more complete telling of the days events he turned.

"Ma'am, I have to ask you what punishment you think your boys will be recieving for their actions today?"

"Why, nothing! Whatever they did was obviously in self-defense! They didn't do anything wrong!"

"Well then Ma'am, I thank you for your time."

"I hope you'll punish them so that they learn how to behave and start playing nice!"

"On the contrary. It seems that we are in agreement about the proper course of punishment. I will do nothing because my children have done nothing. In the future however, I hope that your sons will have learned a little self-restraint from this incident. Now if you'll excuse us, I have a hankering for some ice cream. What do you kids say?"

We were thrilled. She was less than thrilled.

"Well then, its settled. Good Evening Ma'am."

That was the best black cherry ice cream I ever had. While Mike & Co didn't stop bullying, they never messed with us again.

We had our problems, but it was times like those where we actively came together and looked after one another that made us family. No matter how bad things got, we always had each other.