Professor Plum #1

The Professor - An unexpected visitor...

The first woman I ever loved was... well, her name isn't really all that important for this story, but suffice it to say I knew it well for three good years.

But all good things must end; one thing led to another and that other thing led to an entirely different thing and after that was dealt with, she showed up unannounced to spend the night. Unfortunately, I was caught unawares and didn't quite have enough time to put my "affairs," so to speak, in order. Considering the past few months had brought us closer together and the past few beers had brought her closer to trashed, her reaction to the woman in my bed was far from calm.

"Baby, she means nothing to me," I implored.

I don't think my plea had the desired effect, considering I didn't desire the picture frame that was shortly hurled at me from across the room. I know you're probably thinking I deserved it, and maybe I did, but was it really all my fault? Wasn't it to be expected?

I mean, she left the bloody corpse in my broom closet.