Russet Ranger #2

This is going to be a rather damn quick post, as that is all this topic deserves.

Life is beautiful. Why? Simply, because people die. Most things are temporary, and if we had immortality, this planet wouldn't exist as it is now. It would be a dead thing as we would have irradiated the Russians on a direct scale that is unparalleled to the testing we have done on indigenous lands. We would do everything to make the other's life miserable and not care about the consequences to the surrounding lifeforms.

Elvis Presely would have gotten fatter and ruined the memory of the rock and roll star. In fact, life would have been better if Elvis died in his prime.

For that reason, Nirvana is beautiful and is not a dying memory that fades away like Pearl Jam. If only Eddie Vedder realized the art of popularity and memory - his life would have been looked upon foundly instead of the Green Party hack he is now.

If we didn't die - Ronal Reagan would still be President. Incompetent with Alzheimer's, the people of the United States would not have term limits and the Gipper would still be in power. You may it is not true, but, the Republican Party would have never picked Bush when the Star Warrior himself is still up in arms.

Jesus would be an armchair philosopher and people couldn't kill in his or religion's name. We would not need religion and could not use it as an excuse. Where is the fun in that?

There's no sex if you are immortal. We would have to ban it. Otherwise the world would be overpopulated. I mean, you couldn't even have abortions, because the fetus would still be alive. It would be alive and pissed. Or maybe you could abort it. It would definitely solve the "is the fetus alive debate." Now who would want that solved - we need something to argue about.

Also, herpes would suck. That's a long time to have it. I mean, forever.

Death also allows ugly people to be beautiful - because no one is ugly at a funeral. Unless you had some horrible accident to your face, but then you probably deserved it. I mean, to avoid a Nirvana reference again, if there is a pot of acid in front of you...don't stick your face in it.

So yeah, life is beautiful because it ends. Is it miserable? Yeah, but that's part of the beauty. The contradictions heighten the experience.

Remember, long life gives you fat Elvis.