Admiral Azure #1

Well, there is the random eye twitching when I’m stressed, annoyed, or lacking caffeine, but I suppose he would have to be used to that long before he would move in with me.

Besides the constant caffeine cravings, late nights, random purchasing of five pounds of Twizzlers because I’m out of cigarettes and then not questioning it when I need to stop on the way home to buy cigarettes, me yelling at my useless computer because it can’t hold any more RAM and it needs it, the piles of tiny oragami stars all over the place, the need for there to be very little white space on the walls in all of the rooms, lots of bright colors everywhere, the stack of empty Red Bull cans on my desk that grows daily, randomly speaking in Japanese or French, commandeering things, and the daily Dance Dance Revolution playing, there really is only one thing that a lover living with me would have to get used to:

Me owning not just the house but the entire island that we live on.

Yes, that’s right. I own the whole damn island. Actually, I own the Caribbean-- well, I’m kind of supposed to split it with someone, but, eh... And I’ll eventually be taking over the world, so he’ll have to get used to me kicking people off of my island (they can go live in the United States. In fact, I’ll give them a push in the right direction. Well, maybe... I’m directionally challenged), and he’ll have to get used to me cutting people’s tongues out when they tell me that pirates can’t wear pink. And he’ll have to understand that while I like doing things like cooking and cleaning, I’m not going to stay home all day and be a little housewife. It sounds tempting from time to time, but I really need to get out.

Since I’ve noticed that many people are confessing things, I’ve got a confession to make as well. I am a directionally challenged pirate. But that really doesn’t get in the way. I can’t sail a ship all by myself. That’s the good thing about being in charge-- I can order people to navigate (and do all the work I don’t want to do).

Well, I’ve lost my train of thought, because I started writing this last night and had just finished, but the power went out. Yeah, I was pretty damn pissed. So I’m going to make another confession: I currently have no one to get used to any of these things about me. It kind of sucks. So if any of you know anyone who enjoys sailing and likes long walks on the beach and wouldn’t mind any of those things I’ve listed up there, I’m a Cancer who is quite available. ;)