Sgt. Silver #2

The Meaning of Life Revealed!

Yeah right... like I fucking know the meaning of life. Whenever people get on the meaning of life its always a random tangent, somewhere between the awkward silence and the "what the hell are you talking about" comment during your break at work. Its like babbling nonsense about the meaning of life has suddenly become a new fad, alongside yoga classes, being "spiritual," and discovering yourself in India. Guess what, even though you probably did drink that double cup of Arabian Mocha Java, it doesn’t mean you know shit about the world. Whenever I hear someone speak some nonsense about how the world is just a hypothetical construct that we're dreaming, I just want to kick them in the shin and scream, "what HURTS!?" Once your clasping your shin in pain, the world around you suddenly becomes a lot more real. And that’s why I think all philosophy majors should go through Boot Camp, under me, Sgt. Silver. I think that anyone who has had the time to ponder the metaphysical implications of Kantian internalism as an alternative to Aristotelian morality hasn't had a good beating in a while. I'm sick and tired of watching people rush up that Ivory Tower, seclude themselves from their own life, and then try to tell me about mine. I think there's a very clear brightline between what’s real and what isn't: Pain. If it hurts, its real. Period.

If there's one thing people should do, its that they should forget all the philosophy theories and trite little sayings, because there's a better way to decide what is real and how to live your life: if something hurts, its real, and if something makes you happy, keep doing it. Those are the only two things you will need to remember from this day onward. Oh, and for god sakes, don't become a philosophy major.